Squirrel Power!
rating: 0+x


August 31, 2013: Though statistics are hard to come by, squirrels are apparently responsible for causing at least dozens and probably hundreds of major power outages across the United States every year - on two busy days in June alone, 18,000 customers lost power. The squirrels like to enter transformer stations because they tend be full of dead insects, and they chew on cables because their teeth constantly grow, requiring constant usage lest they grow too large. When they get electrocuted in a way that causes their carcass to get stuck in the circuitry, a short circuit will occur that requires manual removal of the remains.

Electricity companies do not keep track of which outages are caused by squirrels specifically, yet insist that their countermeasures are "improving". Meanwhile, squirrels are among the best animal adopters to human-created urban and suburban sprawl, meaning that humans and squirrels live together in greater numbers than ever before.

See Also



Game and Story Use

  • We knew that squirrels had it in for us since 1801, and now they - or the secret hand that controls them - are practicing for the ultimate attack. Squirrels are now everywhere where humans dwell, and soon they will start a huge wave of kamikaze attacks to bring down the grid for good.
  • For those of a foraging mindset, it might be profitable to lay your squirrel snares around some switchgear to pick up extra meat for your hobo stew.
    • Of course, this may just lead to power outages caused by electrocuted hobos…
Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License